A Love Letter To My College Bound Son
To My College Bound Son: I cannot believe that you will soon be headed off to college. From the time you came into my life, I have been preparing you for this day. What I failed to do was prepare myself for this day. I did not consider the flood of emotion that would come along with your embarking on this journey.
There are so many things I want to share with you; things I should have shared before now, but didn’t. Maybe I thought you would think less of your father and me if I shared these things. I thought I had done such a good job of parenting that you wouldn’t fall victim to these predicaments. In either regard, now that the day has come, I cannot let you leave without sharing this love letter from your father and me.
As you know, your father and I met in college. In the beginning, our relationship was characterized by the volatile ups and downs of a typical teenage love affair. I don’t want you to make the same mistakes we did if you meet “the one.” So this is our love letter; our best effort at sharing how to find and keep love.
To My College Bound Son: Relationships Come and Go
Not every relationship you form in college will be a lasting one. I met some of my closest friends in my years as an undergraduate student. Be sure to vet your friends carefully. Choose people that make you feel good about yourself and your goals.
There is a natural feeling to the end of a relationship; honor that. Don’t hold on longer than necessary. If it doesn’t fit [anymore] don’t force it. End every relationship in a way that leaves you with good memories.
My first college relationship taught me this. I held on far too long trying to make it work and just made a bad situation worse. To top it all off, I almost missed the opportunity to get to know your father better. 20 years later, I don’t regret having that opportunity.
To My College Bound Son: Don’t Be A Jerk
You’re a handsome guy with a nice smile and you’ll be on the football team. Don’t use your charm to take advantage of young ladies, the admiration of others, or to gain opportunities you can work to obtain.
To My College Bound Son: Shoot Your Shot
Your dad knew I was the one from the moment he met me. But it took him four months to approach me. This may surprise you since you inherited his slick mouth.
We had mutual friends and saw each other weekly at the engineering student organization meetings. He had chances. But in his words, “In order to successfully negotiate a deal, you have to have leverage or an opportunity. I waited for the prime opportunity.”
It was a usual day during lunch in the University Center. I was going from table to table proclaiming to those who would listen (and even those who weren’t) that I needed a man. I was pretty brash.
When I got to your father’s table, I once again made the proclamation that “I need a man.” He looked me square in the eye and said, without flinching, “I’m too much man for you.” Well, that certainly got my attention and I was intrigued. He took his shot, and it landed.
To My College Bound Son: Make Sure You’re Ready
Your dad had a strategy for his approach. You may want to be more bold and not wait that long. Everything moves much faster these days than they did back then. We taught you how to be a gentleman and respect young women. Don’t forget that.
I bought you the things every GenZ college student needs, so be sure to use them. Because no girl wants to talk to a smelly, wrinkly guy with bad breath, even if he is a football player.
To My College Bound Son: Fools Rush In
Long before you were born Whitney Houston asked, “how will I know if he really loves me?” You will know when it’s love. Don’t rush into it.
There will be a line of girls waiting to date a football player. Many of them will be drop-dead gorgeous. Beauty fades. Some of the ones who have pretty faces have ugly attitudes. Take your time.
Your dad says that even though he didn’t know what it meant to have a wife, he knew I had what it took once we started to get to know each other. And that made him want to be a better man. If you don’t feel like you want to be a better man when you’re with her, it’s not likely love.
I hope this love letter helps you in your days ahead. No matter what, continue to make your father and me proud by being the man we raised you to be. And if you do meet “the one,” just know it’s not official until I meet her.
How will you help your college student be bold enough to approach “the one?”
Not sure if i appreciate more how u write or the content you bring to us. That’s big dear. Never stop.
Such a fabulous letter, Anitra! And, congrats on reaching another impressive parenting milestone!!
Great advice for your young man! So bitter sweet to watch them grow up. I can’t even imagine the day that my boy is ready for college. They definitely grow up way too fast!
This is really sweet! He’ll be going into college with some great advice! I remember it being so hard to let my kids move on to college.
This is all great advice. My son started his senior year last week and I’m a mess.
All excellent advice for your son. I especially like the part about not forcing relationships. If they are meant to be, they will be – and there is usually no need for a nasty goodbye.
Such a sweet letter! I am so not ready for these days to come. My oldest is going into Middle and I cannot even think about it!
What a wonderful letter for your son!
What a lovely letter. It brought tears to my eyes! I have to say that I never understood my parents and their struggle. Only now that I am going to be a mom I understand all that they went through, for me and my sisters. Such a beautiful letter, I hope your son knows how lucky he is to have parents that love each other!
This is such a sweet letter, without being too sappy. Ya know, college kids can still get embarrassed lol. I wish him all the best luck, and fresh breath is seriously a good start when talking to girls
He doesn’t embarrass too easily, and I’ve been telling him to not be funky for years. LOL
Oh I love this!!!! I can but can’t wait for my 9-month-old to go through this stage. I remember when my mom dropped me off at my dorm. It was so surreal. I hope he has a good time but stays focused.
Yes, honey, wait! You have so many memories to make and the terrible toddler years to survive!
You put me all in my feelings with this letter. My son (my oldest) is a senior in high school, and I’m not sure I’m ready. You never realize your parents probably went through these same emotions when you left for college, yet, here we are.
Great advice! And now let me find a tissue.
It’s coming mama. Just trust that you’ve instilled everything in him to be the man you aspire for him to be. He won’t make all the right choices, but he’ll have the foundation to recover.
Awww…my nephew is starting college this year. He is going somewhere in upstate NY. I’m nervous for him, but happy too. We have to instill our values while they are young so when they go off to school they will be comforted by the love and the lessons we taught them.
Absolutely! Best wishes for success to your nephew.
Beautiful letter to your son. I hope he listens and remembers this advice always as he journeys through college and life beyond. Thanks for sharing your love story! That was inspiring!
Thank you! He won’t listen to everything because he is who he is, but if I don’t say it, he won’t have anything to come back to when not listening does what not listening does. 😉
First off, i love the warmness in your writing. And your tips to uour son are amanzing. I laughed at shoot uour shot and dont be a jerk lol.
At his age you have be direct. Too many examples of jerks and shy guys for me not to give him that advice.
I love this. Such good advice and a great memento that he can look back on.
Thank you! I’m hoping he keeps it present of mind, but that’s a mother’s wish.
What wonderful advice for your son. I hope he has a fantastic college career! #client
Thank you! I believe he will. Especially if he follows my advice. LOL
Aww so sweet! I know it’s hard letting go! My babe is only going to Pre K3 and I’m not ready
Once they get to his age, it’s not as hard as you think. Cherish your time now.